Gather around my sisters, as I tell you the story of Ms. September’s Excellent Adventure to the Post Office.
We join our heroine as she pulls into the parking lot of the main postal station in Halifax and reluctantly disembarks from her air conditioned car into the 32C heat wave. She hurriedly snaps a photo for blog fodder and hustles inside to climate controlled comfort.
There being no line up (seriously!) she sashays up to the counter.
Clerk (out loud voice): “Hello Madame, how are you today?”
Ms. Sept: (out loud chirpily) “Just great now that I’m in a cool place”.
Clerk: (inside voice) how many times am I gonna have to hear that line today?
Ms. Sept: “I have some packets to go to the States” while pulling white envelope after white envelope from bag
Clerk: “What’s inside? Just paper or something else?”
Ms. Sept: “Fabric”
Clerk: “You need customs declaration forms then”.
Ms. Sept: “Umm, o.k.” (rats, should have said just paper)
Clerk: “How many forms do you need?” while tearing official looking labels from a very large roll
Ms. Sept: “Eleven. Um, do I hafta put the name and address on each one?” (crap)
Clerk: “Yes Ma’am” (Newbies!!)
Ms. Sept: “Um, how about I take those home and print address labels to stick on them?” (cuz thats what technology is for, to do the boring stuff so I don’t have to)
Clerk: “Weelllll, no. These are two part forms with paperless carbon.”
Ms. Sept.: “Oh.” (CRAP!!!)
Clerk: “Just go on over to that counter over there and fill these out. Do you need a pen?”
Ms. Sept: “No thank you” (this sucks. Next time say it’s just paper)
Time passes. 25 minutes, to be exact. Our heroine hand writes (really, who hand writes anymore?) both the sender and recipient addresses on each label, writes the contents, scribbles a zero for the value, ticks a few boxes, stacks the envelopes). When next she looks up there is, you guessed it, a honking big lineup. Seriously! Ms. Sept gets in line behind several people who appear to be doing their Christmas mailing extremely early. We’re talking piles of boxes as big as they are.
Time passes. 10 minutes, to be exact. Finally, our heroine is at the service counter again.
Our clerk weighs, calculates, stamps, flips, stamps again, and finally flings each envelope into a bin, to start its journey southward (except for one that is Alaska bound).
Clerk: “O.K. Ma’am, that comes to $23.21”
Ms. Sept: gulp,
So my friends, the total duration of Ms. September’s Excellent Adventure to the Post Office is 45 minutes, but a lesson well learned. From now on ya’all are getting paper from me.